\”Don\’t call yourself a Nigerian woman, you\’re in America,\” was a piece of advice I received from someone who had read a blog of mine where I mentioned being a Nigerian. It was not without thought that I chose to identify myself as a Nigerian woman. I could have identified as just a woman, but that would not have given the full story. A woman could be any woman, but a Nigerian woman gave my writing a context that I wanted it to have.
I was amused by this reader\’s response and somewhat irritated by it (but thanks for the feedback). Partly because I have had a similar experience in which someone told me who I was or who I should be. I once dated a guy who thought I was not African enough, what he said was \”you are not a real African woman\”. He had meant this as an insult and had intended to make me feel like I lacked something in comparison to a \”real African woman\”. So when this reader said something about how I chose to identify myself, this was the first thing that came to mind.
This raises a lot of questions about my identity as an African living in America; Does being in a western country erase my African identity? Does it make people project ideas on me that I do not agree with? Who defines my identity? What is wrong in being identified or identifying as an African woman?
I will address the last question. The man I dated in his refusal to acknowledge me as an African woman, meant to slight me. My reader on the other hand in telling me not to call myself a Nigerian woman was well-meaning. For the purpose of this post, I use African woman and Nigerian woman interchangeably.
By \”African woman\”, the guy I dated meant subdued, shy, soft-spoken, and more similar descriptions that I find denigrating to women. A \”Nigerian woman\” to my blog reader had a similar connotation. To my blog reader, it was not empowering for me to refer to myself as an African woman, so he meant well. To the guy I dated however, being those things is considered virtuous, as opposed to being independent, opinionated, outspoken and other adjectives people associate with modern women. Although, one considers being an African woman venerating and the other finds it is disparaging, it is clear that both men are informed by the same ideologies about African women.
Another question then is, are these beliefs true? I hope many African women will read this post and answer this question for themselves. From my experience, African women are multifaceted. To take a particular demeaning ideology and project it on us all is ignorant. I am an African woman, I am a Nigerian woman and no less so because I do not submit to sexist ideas about how I should act or behave. I find being an African woman very empowering and liberating. Therefore, I will continue to identify as one.