The past year brought about the loss of many things, money, jobs, properties, relationships, and sanity, to name a few. But surely the most important loss is that of lives, it is irreplaceable. We are not over the storms yet, but we are weathering it, albeit ruggedly. This is a testament to our tenacity. If nothing else was accomplished, it is noteworthy. We made it out of that dreadful year called 2020.

When the COVID-19 pandemic started in the early months of 2020, we knew we somehow needed to survive this strange phenomenon that has not occurred in recent human history. And we have found a way to keep body and soul together even in these savage circumstances.

During the lockdown in the earlier stages of the pandemic, I heard so many motivational speeches. They were mainly about making use of the extra time to do things we have previously procrastinated. Although these talks were stirring, never have I felt less motivated.

My life has been characterized by doing the things I wanted to do. Time has never been a hindrance to pursuing my other interests. In fact, I work well under pressure. I found that having so much time on my hand left me in want of what to do with it.

People were dying. The news was primarily about how the virus was killing people in droves. And as much as I prayed and hoped that the fate that had befallen those who died will escape me, I truly pondered what life was all about. Seeing how easy it is for mankind to perish, I realize we humans control very little. These were individuals who had dreams and goals, but just like that, were snuffed out.

Some of us spend so much time running after our dreams, trying to be somebody, or trying to make a change in the world, but we do not control life or death. Life is full of so many unexpected twists and turns. If we think about it, king Solomon was perhaps right in his assessment that all of life is indeed meaningless. In the book of Ecclesiastes 1 verse 3, King Solomon asked, “What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun?”. A good question to ponder.

But even if all of life is vanity, it is still our lot as humans to live life. So while we do that, we must find something worthwhile to fill our days. We cannot merely exist. We must dedicate our existence to meaningful pursuits. The one thing we have control over is how we choose to spend our life.

With this thought in mind, I decided it was okay to unwind. Our world is full of work, rarely does the universe presents one with the opportunity to rest. And so, I rested, traveled twice, engaged in leisure activities, and spent quality time with my loved one. But this indolence could only last for a while. Because for as long as life exists, there will always be the pursuit of goals and dreams. It is our destiny as humans to pursue those things we believe bring us happiness and fulfillment.

Many of us have had the chance to relax and unwind this past year. But it is now time to go back to the grind. 2021 is indeed another opportunity to pursue living life to the fullest. Whatever that means to you personally, I encourage you to do so. I wish you luck in your 2021 endeavors and above all a good health and a sound mind.

The post Forgetting What is Behind appeared first on Rachael Sade's Blog.

Like it did for most people, the new year began on a hopeful note. I was thrilled to discover what lies ahead in the uncharted months of 2020. I made plans and resolutions, changed my wardrobe, re-registered for gym, I was ready for the new year or so I thought. For me the arctic descent began with the announcement of the “Trump Nigerian ban”, an inconceivable threat to my perfectly laid out plans, and the first sign that the year was going to be a bitter melon.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the Covid-19 pandemic pounced on the world and disproportionately on New York, my city of residence, leaving behind a death toll in the United States higher than that of the Vietnam War, Gulf War, Afghanistan War, and Iraq War combined. Right before my very eyes, the ever bustling New York city became a ghost town devoid of it’s usual boisterousness. And just when we thought we were finally overcoming this pandemic, the racism pandemic strikes! A white cop murdered an unarmed black man, viciously cutting off his breath in a knee strangulation, bringing about an unrest in the entire already unsettled world.

In a matter of days, thousands flood to the previously empty streets in protest. Some peaceful, some violent, but all disavowing the injustice that has permeated our society for so long. The protest a sort of silver lining in the midst of a dark cloud, but one that calls for caution, as the virus still looms over us.

In other news, there’s new Ebola outbreak in the Democratic Republic of Congo. The very last thing the world needs right now. Oh what a year!

The post Oh What a Year! appeared first on Rachael Sade's Blog.

There are some life events that are beyond our power, some that we cannot undo and some that with time, we can redo. I encourage us to go after those things we can do over, pursue ardently those second chances life present us with, instead of beating dead horses. And if after giving it our all they refuse to yield, I pray for the courage to let go and thread new paths or seek out new adventures. 

Time is precious, too precious not to do what makes you happy in the short amount of time that you’re allotted.

I pray your 2020 will be your most fruitful year till date. Have a wonderful 2020.  

The post Farewell 2019 appeared first on Rachael Sade's Blog.

These questions, I pondered as in lay in bed one September morning thinking about the past 3 years my life and how it has gone through a number of relationships that are today no more. How could love do that to you? I wondered. When I think about what they did, I just can’t wrap my mind around love hurting someone like that. Was it truly love? If it was love, why did it bring so much pain?

Love seems the total opposite of their actions. Heartbreak appears to trail what we refer to as love. If it was love, wasn’t it supposed to be sweet, pleasant, euphoric and most of all long lasting? So, are those relationships that lasted only weeks, months or years entitled to be labeled love? Are they worthy of being called love or were they some unexplained feeling that disguised itself as love?

These questions I ruminated on as I thought about my exes and the specific actions that led to the break up. They all wanted me back in spite of having hurt me and having done something that made it impossible for me to move forward in the relationship. My trust was shattered. And how does one go about a relationship without trust? After thinking about them, I thought about me. I wondered if love is truly an illusion. The phrase “love can conquer all” seemed like such a blatant lie. If love was so powerful, why didn’t my love for them empower me to overlook their defects and embrace them again? To them, what they had done did not deserve a punishment as severe as a banishment from my life. To me, it was the end of the road. If truly I loved them as I claimed, why couldn’t I move past their fatal flaws.

It was easier for me to conclude that they never in fact loved me, than it was for me to admit the same of myself. I believe I loved them each while it lasted. I know the sacrifices I made, the actions I took to show that I was in love. On my part, it was real. But ultimately, my self preservation came first. I loved me first and I loved me more, so the need to protect me was higher that the need to receive their counterfeit love.

I guess if they all looked back they’ll probably affirm that they loved me. But the validity of that claim is questionable because their actions were unable to back it up. So after my long introspective journey into the past that September morning, I came to the conclusion that love is really an action. It’s in what we do, not what we say. Talk is cheap. I remember an ex telling me at the point of desperation that I should listen to what he says and not pay attention to his actions. I would have been brainwashed to do that, but by then the scales had fallen from my eyes and I saw him for who he truly was. The blindness that supposedly comes with love was gone from my eyes and after what I saw, nothing could propel me to spend even a day longer in the relationship with him.

Regardless of how we feel, if our actions do not measure up, then it can’t be love. That being said, self love remains a basic foundation for romantic love. This was my biggest take away from my morning musing. One has to love his/her self enough to reject counterfeit love.

If it doesn’t live up to that perfection that love is, then is it really love? Love is perfect or is it? But if you must call it love, then call it what it is, counterfeit love. Some of us need to experience a number of counterfeit love before we can recognize real love. What is real love? Real love is a love that we choose. A love that even if it breaks our heart, also has the ability to heal and restore us back to wholeness, over and over again. A forever love that lasts as long as you both shall live.

The post Counterfeit Love: Love is Perfect or is It? appeared first on Rachael Sade's Blog.