Why Am I Still Single?

Is a question many of us single ladies are asking ourselves. Some women have already resigned themselves to the fate of solitariness. They have settled for endless dating that never yield permanency, sex with strangers now and then, an empty crib with nothing but cats to snuggle up with, and marriage to a career that will never bring full fulfillment. But some of us want more! We want biceps and triceps to cuddle up with in bed every night (not cats!). We want commitment, we want love, we want relationship, we want to share not just our bodies but our minds and deepest thoughts with another person and we want a partner for life. If you’ve ever seen any woman or girlfriend get married to a “perfect” guy and you wonder what in the world is going on? I know I’m better than her (it’s not being boastful, it’s just a fact). If you’re that person, then this blog is for you. Every year, we see friends and acquaintances get married before our eyes, and sometimes, we are bridesmaids. And we wonder when is it ever going to be my turn? When is that perfect gentleman going to waltz in? Why am I still single?! I’m beautiful, I have an education, I have a car, I have a career, I have my money, but where is he?

Well the answers to those questions can be endless, so I’ll only address a critical area that we may overlook. I’ll ask a question of my own, do you have a list? If the answer is yes, then keep reading. If the answer is no (which is highly unlikely), then feel free to stop reading at this point. Now to my beautiful dames with the list of what the perfect man should be, I have only a few words for you — trash that list. Yes, throw it in the garbage. Be it a physical or mental catalog of what you want in a man, it is one of the reasons why you’re still single. I’m not asking you to decimate your standards, I’m only saying to reassess them.

If physique is still a criterion for pass or fail anywhere in your prospectus, then scrap it. There are many great men out there who are as short as Kevin Hart. I understand that we are attracted to certain kinds of physical traits, but let’s face it, the right person for us may not have six packs. Furthermore, you may be too high-maintenance. You may need to lower some of your expectations, particularly those that are materially inclined. Now my advice may be sounding subdued, since we live in a generation that is all about being true to who you are. Some may say, that is just how I roll. On one hand this is great, but perhaps this is why we have so many quandaries in this generation. As we are asking people to be true to who they are when who they are is messed up! Many people do not have character. Some folks are so materialistic and vain. Rather than teach them how to be decent human beings, we encourage all sort of unsavory conducts all in the name of freedom. I find that liberty has become licentiousness in this age. There is now a blurred line between what’s right and proper and what’s downright ignoble. Therefore, each and every one of us will have to make a choice.

Do you want marriage? Do you want commitment and long lasting love? Then you’re going to have to choose it. Alas, gone are the days when these things come easily. Today, the world provides us with many Illusorily enticing alternatives. We’ll have to cast the ballot for what is not only right but good. Marriage is good! I am not saying this to vilify singleness, but don’t get it twisted, marriage is one of the greatest fulfillment we humans can have. You’re probably reading this post because you’re tired of being single, so we may as well be honest with ourselves. Having a spouse who is forever in your corner tops sex on a regular with someone who will never commit to you. The right person for you may not appear anywhere on that treasured checklist and that’s possibly why you’re still single. So, obliterate that superficial list and be open, (but not too open), and you may just see him walk right through the door.

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