To My Hopeless Romantics

I’m a hopeless romantic, that’s why I spend a lot of time watching Korean dramas. Now if you haven’t heard of K dramas, where have you been?! You’ve got to see one, I have a full list I could recommend, hit me up and I’ll hook you up in no time. They are seriously the best entertainment hopeless romantics could ask for. Plus, they are funny, they have good-looking actors with top-notch acting skills, great story lines, and the best part is you get to learn about a different culture which is really fun and fascinating. But this post  is not about Korean dramas and my obvious love for them, this is about something I heard in a movie.

Many of us have probably seen the movie He’s Not That Into You. But if not,  it’s a great movie, I recommend it. In the movie, I heard that if a guy gives you his phone number then he is not interested. I was skeptical at first but when I actually thought  about it, it made a lot of sense. Think about it, you meet a guy, let’s say at a party, and you’ll never see him again because you run in different circles or live in different states or something like that, and if you ever meet him again, it’s probably going to be by chance. He knows this, and yet he chose to give you his number instead of taking yours. That is sending a clear message, if you never call this guy, he’s never going to call you either, he doesn’t have your number!

As a woman, you don’t want to be the one to call (I’m still trying to figure out where my liberation fits into my relationship with the opposite sex, so forgive my saying that). He’s probably thinking the same thing, so he gives you his number instead. Darling, he’s not interested. If you’re the one to ask for his number also, he’s not interested either. An interested guy would be aiming to get your number because he wants to see you again.

Now, I’m not trying to take a stance  on the whole women shouldn’t chase men topic (we’ll discuss this at other times). But if you do exchange contacts with a man, I’ll advice that you don’t call or text him first either. Let him take the initiative. Men have this hunter instincts especially when it comes to the woman they want. I’m not sure where I heard this, but I may be paraphrasing Steve Harvey (I’m a fan). So if a man really wants to push  things further, he will. Yes, some men are shy, but you can only go so far in helping a guy. Ultimately, he has to want to make the move.

Now if there’s a guy you like, you need to learn how to drop cues here and there, smile extra brightly around him, laugh a bit louder, dress really nice, greet him (as in really greet him), compliment him, let him know you notice how the color of his tie matches the color of his lapel, or something like that.  A really smart guy will pick up on those hints, but let him be the one to say the words. I’m all for women independence and empowerment, but let’s be honest, there are some things that feminine pride just will not allow. But some of us are bolder than others and a lot of us are restrained by the fear of rejection. I know women who just go for it, they see a guy they like, they don’t hesitate in asking him out. Kudos to them, but others may just prefer to drop  hints,  but if he still doesn’t get it,  then he’s  probably not very smart, but I don’t want to be quick to say that because guys could be really clueless (especially when it comes to women). But what if he gets it and he’s just not making a move? Then he’s not into you. So please save yourself the embarrassment of  asking him and being rejected or being accepted because he feels pity for you. No one wants that kind of relationship.

I believe there’s someone out there for everyone (spoken like a true romantic), but it might require some work to get to that person, so I won’t tell you to sit, fold your arms and smile while waiting for “the one”. You don’t know where you might meet the right person, but the chances of him knocking on your door is 1 out of 1000. It’s going to need a divine miracle. You can wait on that, but you’d better be a serious prayer warrior, or you can start by being more outgoing, go to different places and start meeting and engaging with new people. For some of us “born and raised in the church” folks, it used to be the church. The church was where people used to go to find their significant other. It still happens a lot, and it’s a good place to find someone, but there are many other places as well. Now you don’t have to turn into a  social bird overnight, but go out and mingle and you just might meet “the one” while having a good time.