Does True Love Exist?

Does true love exist?

This question I pondered as I watched a clip of an old Caucasian couple who have been married for 79 years. A friend had sent me the video with the caption “this is so beautiful.” I watched the entire video which lasted for about three minutes, and then read some of the comments people had posted about it on Facebook, they were full of hearts and flowers. Positively mushy.

I agreed, it was a beautiful story. But I was also quick to denounce such sentimental expressions that make our eyes misty and our hearts flutter. I find it fascinating how my generation gush over stories like this (stories of enduring love and long-lasting marriage), while one of the known facts about us is that we are killing the concept of marriage altogether. Yet we adore these stories of devotion and eternal love, we even let ourselves believe that they are proofs that true love does exist.

But as I watched as these two old lovebirds still laugh and make jest of each other in the autumn of their life, a statement I had made in my upcoming book, The Colorful Path came to mind. I had written that it is not realistic to cite the marriages of our grandparents and in some cases our parents as evidence that true love does exist, because the values that governed their lives are different from the ones that governs ours. I said as much to the friend who had sent me the video and who was surprised at my passionate rebuttal against the sweet sentiments we express but fail to commit to. The problem with this generation is that we want true love. When we see couples whose marriage has stood the test of time, we want that! We want soul mates, and we want everlasting love. However, we are not willing to pay the price for it. Yes, love has a price tag.

Does true love exist? Well, it depends on one’s perspective and is quite subjective to one’s point of view. But the response I gave my friend was that the kind of love the old sweethearts shared does not exist anymore. What a cynical perspective one might say, but allow me to defend this position. I believe such love used to exist a long time ago, before the age of smartphones and social media. But it no longer does. Not in this generation, because such love requires more than we are willing to give. Such love exists only within the premise of our ability to give all of ourselves to the other person, sacrificially.  

If you disagree, I’d like you to think and come up with just one couple who epitomizes true love. And I’m not referring to grannies and grandpas. Even if you were able to point to one, there’s really no way of verifying the authenticity of their love. Spouses confess to love each other all the time, yet our world is full of so much heart breaks and divorce. I believe the durability of a marriage is the only true testament that’s worth taking into account. If 50 years from now those couples that came to mind have managed to stay together (happily so), then my faith in millennial marriages will be restored.

If you’re married or considering it, I hope this challenges you to make your marriage last up to 50 years! I’ll be convinced if you manage to make it to 40. I intend to do the same because I love tough challenges. Together, let us prove that true love does exist. 

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