Are You Cheating On Me?

Reflecting on Beyoncé’s Lemonade album and the whole speculation on whether or not Jay Z cheated on her, I began to wonder if there are two types of women.  Those who leave when their significant other cheats and those who remain in the relationship, and if so, which category do I fall into?

I also began to wonder how society’s perception of cheating men influences the decision of women to stay in a relationship or leave  after a man cheats. But my ultimate question was, is cheating nature or nurture?

Will you stay or leave  if your husband cheats?  What if he’s a boyfriend or fiance,  does it make a difference?

I have heard  people, especially women say it is a man’s nature to cheat. Whenever I hear this, it sounds to me like a pathetic excuse from women to accept what society insist they should, even though they know it is not true. If cheating was men’s nature, then all men will cheat, but not all men cheat.

Cheating therefore is a product of nurture. Nurtured  by a society that finds it acceptable for men to cheat and frowns when women do  the same. If cheating is nature,  then I prefer to think of it as human nature, not something unique to men alone, because  women do cheat as well.

We need to stop making excuses for bad behavior by claiming it’s a man’s nature or he can’t help it. Women  need to stop preserving this idea. Who wants to go into marriage having it at the back of her mind that her husband will cheat because that what men do?

Let’s call cheating what it is, a choice. Howbeit a stupid one, it is still a choice. A man cheats because he made a decision to. Rather than make excuses for bad behavior, we should teach men how to be disciplined the same way women are being taught, right from childhood. We give free rein to boys when it comes to sex and sexuality,  but we curtail girls.  Then these boys grow up to be men without self-control and then we say oh it’s their nature, or worst, we blame the woman for her partner’s indiscretions. Meanwhile, we the society nurtured this bad behavior in the first place. I believe it’s time we take a look at how we are raising  boys to become men.