A Love that Sacrifces

What are you willing to give up for your marriage?

This question I pondered as a woman about to take that next step towards marriage. Recognizing the fact that as I close that Single chapter of my life, I open another one which very much connotes loss of freedom. Singleness is viewed upon as a period in one’s life when one is free. While marriage implies a surrendering of that freedom.

I have a difficult time understanding people whose best friend is someone other than their spouses. I can’t imagine why someone in a committed relationship would want anyone to be closer to their partner than they are. Particularly, if the other person is of the opposite sex. In marriage, your husband or wife should become your best friend. Any best friend outside your marriage is unseemly. If we’ve not found a best friend in our spouse, we have not found the right person. If you have more fun spending time with other people than you do your spouse, there’s a need to reexamine the relationship. This may be a very dogmatic point of view, but we have to treat our marriage like it is sacred. We are giving up our freedom for this person, why would we want to be anything less than their very best friend?

We need to place a high value on our spouses. Whatever we don’t value, we have the tendency to abuse. For a man or a woman to be in our lives, we need to create a need for them. Why would we choose to marry a person, share our lives, home, money, body and resources with that person, if we are not going to take them seriously? We might as well remain single and enjoy all the freedom that comes with it. I’m nothing short of amazed when I see how poorly some people treat their spouses. I’m sure we’ve all seen one or two examples of that.

It’s really fascinating how some of us when we are single will do anything to find the right person. Only to treat that same person with contempt during the relationship. If we are not ready for all that relationships entail, it is better to remain single than to waste another person’s time. It is sad and devastating to invest so much time and resources into a relationship that’s going nowhere. So if we choose to pour our time and resources into a relationship, we may as well give it our all.

As I emphasized in my recent book, The Colorful Path, marriage is for grown-ups. It’s for those who understands that the relationship with our spouse has to outweigh everything. Our marriage has to be our priority. I once mentioned, marriage is that decision you make and every other thing becomes secondary. I repeat, every other thing. We have to be willing to give up every other thing for our marriage if the occasion arises; friends, ambitions, career, your right, personal goals, and ego. To mention a few.

Marriage is serious business. The bible likens the union between a man and a woman to Christ and the church. It shows the level of sacrifice required. Christ sacrificed all for the church, His comfort, His throne, His Father’s presence, and His life. This demonstrates how much He values us. In like manner, we have to place a high premium on our spouses.

The disintegration of family leads to the disintegration of the society. It always starts at the family unit and it begins with two people coming together in holy matrimony. This is one of the reasons why marriage is so important. When marriages fail, the society fails.

We need to view marriage as our most important mission. “Two are better than one” the Scriptures say, “because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” There’s an unbeatable power in unity. Marriage is a powerful institution because love is the most powerful force on earth. But not just any love, but a love that sacrifices.