Is It Better Not to Marry? A Biblical Perspective
When I said on the podcast that “the Bible says it is good not to marry,” I wasn’t trying to be controversial—I was simply pointing back to Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 7. Paul makes an interesting case: marriage is good, but singleness can also be good, even better, depending on one’s calling and ability to stay focused on God.
What the Bible Says About Marriage and Singleness
Paul’s teaching gives us a balanced framework:
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Singleness as a gift: If you can remain unmarried and still live in holiness, Paul says that’s a blessing. It frees you from certain responsibilities and distractions, allowing you to serve God wholeheartedly.
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Marriage as a provision: Paul is also realistic. Many people wrestle with desires of the flesh, and for them, marriage becomes God’s provision—not a punishment. Marriage sanctifies sexual desire within a covenantal union, making it honorable before Him.
Marriage Is Not a Trap, Singleness Is Not a Curse
So, to put it simply:
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Singleness is not a curse. It’s not “less than.” For some, it’s a divine calling.
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Marriage is not a trap. It’s God’s way of channeling intimacy, partnership, and purpose into a committed covenant.
What marriage is not, however, is a license to indulge in multiple partners. The Bible is clear—marriage is about one man and one woman, faithful to each other under God.
Why This Matters for Christians Today
Both marriage and singleness have purpose in God’s design. Marriage can be one of the greatest forces on earth—after all, one chases a thousand, but two put ten thousand to flight. Yet, marriage is not ultimate. Wholeness comes from God, whether single or married.
Key Takeaway
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If you are called to singleness, live it fully and without shame.
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If you are called to marriage, honor it deeply and faithfully.
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In both, pursue God first—because only He makes life truly fulfilled.
Final Thoughts
The question “Is marriage a need or a want?” is one many Christians wrestle with. Biblically, marriage is honorable, but it is not the ultimate measure of fulfillment. Christ is.
👉🏽 Want to go deeper into this conversation? Listen to the full episode of Altars and Agendas here: The Marriage Trap: Why We Think We Need It (But We Don’t)
2 Comments
tlovertonet
Your place is valueble for me. Thanks!…
James Wesley
Singleness can be good, yes, but, like you said, it depends a lot on your calling and ability.
Paul does call singleness a gift, but when he writes this, he seems to be referring to an ability that God gives you. The Greek word he uses is the same word he uses for the spiritual gifts he lists.
Like you said in the podcast, marriage is good, and God created it. Isn’t that interesting? Even when the world was perfect, God said it “wan’t good” for man to be alone, so He created a mate for him. Also, I think it’s important to note that this incident happened BEFORE sin entered the world. I’m sure the presence of sin in the world affects this sort of thing. We live in a bad world, where bad things happen and life doesn’t always go our way. It might not be “God’s plan” that certain people are single when they don’t want it. It could just be one of the many problems we face in a sinful world. I’ve often read that there’s more Christian women in the world than there are men. If that’s the case, it means not everyone will be able to find someone to marry. It’s not necessarily “God’s plan” that so-and-so is single.
Can you live a fulfilling life while single? Well, yes, certainly. Doesn’t mean it’s easy or painless. Nobody here has an easy or painless life, single or married.
You also mention that both Jesus and Paul were single. This is true. I don’t know if Jesus ever had the desire to marry, though. It seems like Paul lacked this, too. Still, both Jesus and Paul said that singleness isn’t for everyone.
Also, when Paul says that singleness is good, he adds all sorts of interesting caveats. Paul also says that it’s OK to get married. Paul also says that it’s his own opinion that singleness is better. Paul also says that you’re not sinning by marrying.
Is there a “narrative” that marriage equals success and singleness equals failure? Well, I’m sure there is in many churches. It also depends on the person. If you have no desire for marriage, it’s easy to reject that narrative. If you desire marriage, it’s harder to.
I don’t know if your podcast episode already covers these things, though.