I love topics like this because as I have often mentioned, I’m a hopeless romantic. So let’s talk about Mr. Right, “he’s the one, I just know it. I can feel it in my spirit. When he walks into the room my heart just begins to flutter and I get butterflies in stomach…” Sisters, we’ve all been there before, so you know what I’m talking about.
I’ll share my experience growing up as a Christian in Nigeria. I believed it was ordained from the foundation of the world like the bible says Jesus died for us from the foundation of the world. So to me meeting Mr. Right was destiny and there was no way I’ll miss the person I was “destined to marry”, but reality has a way of creeping up on you especially when you are living in America. As I began to see these failed marriages and broken homes, and the high divorce rate among so-called believers, I began to question the notion that this thing was destined, because if it was, that will mean all these divorcees married someone they were not destined to marry.
Then I was listening to a sermon one day and the preacher said God does not choose your spouse for you, my head sparked that day, no way! Then what happens to someone like me, who’s been waiting for “the one” all her life. Because I truly believed this, I never dated growing up. Even when my mates were having their third boyfriends and so on in high school, I was a single lady. The vision I had in my head was this, when I’m older and it’s the right time, Mr. Right will see me in a vision or a dream and he’ll approach me. Whoever he is, wherever he is, he still hasn’t come yet.
So there I was believing one thing and being confronted with another thing. So I ask, is it really true that there’s no destined prince charming that will come dashing on a white horse for his princess, or are our spouses really ordained or destined by God?
The preacher I was listening to said, if God chooses and it doesn’t work , then we’ll blame God like Adam blamed God when he said, it is the woman whom you gave me that gave me the apple. But God does not want a repeat of that whole situation, so He gave us commonsense, He gave us the bible and He gave us the Holy Spirit, so with those three, we should be able to choose well, or be chosen well, for those who believe it is “he who finds” not “she who finds”.
I’m sorry if I dashed your romantic fairy tale notion about Mr. Right, mine was dashed too. Now, I don’t believe we could only have a successful relationship with one person. I believe your spouse could be anybody, within the acceptable boundaries of course. But I believe once you enter into a marriage covenant, that person is your Mr. Right and that’s your soul mate. Prior to marriage, it could have been any other guy or for the fellas, any other woman. But once you’re married, what God has joined together, let no man put asunder. Therefore the season before you get married, from teenagehood up until you say “I do” is extremely important. It should be spent working on yourself and making yourself the best you can be. Two incomplete persons do not make a marriage work. No one completes you, God created you perfectly, you are not missing anything. The only thing you need is a solid relationship with God, so you can be all you are created to be. Two shall become one the bible says, not halves shall become one.
Part of the issues we face today is going into marriage with the wrong notion, looking for something in the other person that we don’t have, and that only God can fulfill. The best marriages take place when both couples are co-independent not co-dependent.
Before I get completely preachy, I want to add one last thing, instead of focusing on finding Mr. Right, focus instead on being miss Right, so you can become Mrs. Right for the right person.