Well the answers to those questions can be endless, so I’ll only address a critical area that we may overlook. I’ll ask a question of my own, do you have a list? If the answer is yes, then keep reading. If the answer is no (which is highly unlikely), then feel free to stop reading at this point. Now to my beautiful dames with the list of what the perfect man should be, I have only a few words for you — trash that list. Yes, throw it in the garbage. Be it a physical or mental catalog of what you want in a man, it is one of the reasons why you’re still single. I’m not asking you to decimate your standards, I’m only saying to reassess them.

If physique is still a criterion for pass or fail anywhere in your prospectus, then scrap it. There are many great men out there who are as short as Kevin Hart. I understand that we are attracted to certain kinds of physical traits, but let’s face it, the right person for us may not have six packs. Furthermore, you may be too high-maintenance. You may need to lower some of your expectations, particularly those that are materially inclined. Now my advice may be sounding subdued, since we live in a generation that is all about being true to who you are. Some may say, that is just how I roll. On one hand this is great, but perhaps this is why we have so many quandaries in this generation. As we are asking people to be true to who they are when who they are is messed up! Many people do not have character. Some folks are so materialistic and vain. Rather than teach them how to be decent human beings, we encourage all sort of unsavory conducts all in the name of freedom. I find that liberty has become licentiousness in this age. There is now a blurred line between what’s right and proper and what’s downright ignoble. Therefore, each and every one of us will have to make a choice.

Do you want marriage? Do you want commitment and long lasting love? Then you’re going to have to choose it. Alas, gone are the days when these things come easily. Today, the world provides us with many Illusorily enticing alternatives. We’ll have to cast the ballot for what is not only right but good. Marriage is good! I am not saying this to vilify singleness, but don’t get it twisted, marriage is one of the greatest fulfillment we humans can have. You’re probably reading this post because you’re tired of being single, so we may as well be honest with ourselves. Having a spouse who is forever in your corner tops sex on a regular with someone who will never commit to you. The right person for you may not appear anywhere on that treasured checklist and that’s possibly why you’re still single. So, obliterate that superficial list and be open, (but not too open), and you may just see him walk right through the door.

The post Why Am I Still Single? appeared first on Rachael Sade's Blog.

A lot of women probably have this kind of mindset too. With this mindset, there’s no way they are dating a guy who they didn’t think was spiritual enough, or a guy who was not earning as much as they wanted, or a guy who they think their friends will dislike, or someone that’s quite different from them. Why would you date a guy who does not meet the “husband” requirement on some list you’ve got? So this definitely limits the dating pool for those women. We are dismissing guys before we even get a chance to know them, which is what dating is all about or should be all about. Dating should not be a pathway to marriage, at least not at the initial stage, but if it does lead to marriage, that’s great. But we shouldn’t start dating a person with the mindset of getting married, this sets us on this path of measuring the person against some superficial criteria, and prevents us from seeing potential in a person who may not quite fit the bill we are looking for or who may not even tinkle our fancy initially.

But if we start thinking about dating as just getting to know a person, it takes away the pressure of marriage and getting it right immediately. We are able to open up our minds to so many possibilities and potentials for lifelong friendships, business relationships, and so on. It doesn’t have to be all about marriage, even if the guy doesn’t end up being your hubby, he could be a very good friend or a relevant connection to have in your network. There’s also the possibility of clicking with someone who’s not your taste at all, if you give yourself the opportunity to know them. I have heard some of the best love stories from couples who say they were not each other’s type. I for one have a preference for Nigerian guys, for this reason, I would not date a non-Nigerian because I want to marry a Nigerian man. But if I date a non-Nigerian, and really get to know the person, there’s a possibility that we could connect better than I ever could with a Nigerian and that person could just be the best man I could ever hope for. But if I don’t give that person a chance, or get to know the person, my great love story may never happen.

What I’m saying is, get to know a person before you decide if you want to marry them or not, you may end up really liking the person or it may not work out, but don’t think of marriage first. If it ends up not working out, you won’t be too disappointed and there are many other ways you could still utilize that relationship with the person, as I mentioned, they could be a relevant connection to have, everything is about networking these days. So date more, expand your horizon, date out of the box (but not too out of the box), relax, date with no pressure and just get to know people. That person could end up being your friend, business partner, colleague, helper, or even “the one”.

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